Since starting my journey to self love, and living a more authentic life my mind has changed so much for the better and I wanted to share my outlook on how I eat and move my body.
When I look back on the last 10 years, I see that two of my biggest stressors were diet and exercise. I remember trying to give myself an eating disorder in high school because I thought it was the only way I would be skinny. I remember trying to only eat low calorie foods, diet pop and veggie sticks. I remember so many girls commenting on how much weight I was losing. It was short lived. I remember when I followed a bodybuilding diet and worked out 2 hours a day when I was in my early twenties because I wanted to look a certain way (what I perceived to be healthy: strong but thin). Now reflecting on all of the above, I see how disordered my thoughts were at different stages in my life.
After a lot of reflection the past two months I’ve discovered new healthy thoughts and beliefs around how I eat and move.
When it comes to food:
- I don’t diet, or count calories. I eat what I feel called to eat, what I crave the most. It might be steel cut oats with a banana cut into it and a spoon of PB, and other times that might mean a doughnut. Sometimes dinner means fried chicken, and sometimes it’s a vegetarian buddha bowl. I guarantee people who follow me on Instagram think all I do is eat out all the time with the many delicious food pics I post, but that’s not the case. The “healthier” choices I make end up being boring photos to post haha. Eating out is HELLA expensive and we ain’t wealthy like that. I am constantly eating the same leftovers for lunch/dinner 4 days in a row, I just don’t post about it.
- Don’t project your shit on me. I’ve had a few people in my life say things that I know deep down are affecting them in regards to food, but they project it on me. I also have a couple of friends who have had people project their insecurities on them too. It’s happened a few times that I can remember starting from when I was young, to more recently. It’s been important to me to have boundaries with people and I am not afraid to call people out on their bullshit. An example could be a family member or your spouse commenting that the food you are about to eat it as something they view as unhealthy OR too healthy. I’m like Ex-Squeeze me, says who, you? It’s like you are damned if you eat a vegetable or choose to eat pizza. Just because you are avoiding something, doesn’t mean I need to. If someone is making you feel uncomfortable, call them on it and set those boundaries. It might make for a difficult talk but it’s worth it.
- I don’t over do it anymore when it comes to portions. Since learning to cultivate a better relationship with food, I listen to my body’s cues on when it is starting to get full. I feel so much closer to my body now, like it’s my friend and not my enemy. I’m able to connect more with myself when I listen to how I am feeling when I eat.
- I take my time. I really have to slow down when I eat. The importance of tasting my food and fully enjoying it is so important to me now. Eating slower has brought me better digestion as well, so double yay for this.
- I sometimes have to ask myself why I am eating something. Since I know myself more and know that I have used food to cope with stress, I need to know why I am eating something. Asking myself am I eating this because I want to, or because my unhealthy thoughts are telling me I HAVE to?
- I throw a lot of food away (or pack it up for Louie if that’s an option). The portion sizes at most places are ridiculous and more food than I ever need in my body at one time. I am a pro at either tossing food, or asking to pack it up so that I can offer it to Louie later. I know it sounds wasteful and terrible to throw away food, but I also know how terrible it feels to overeat/stuff myself because I listen to that childhood thought of having to clear everything off my plate. Seriously, when I have kid(s) that is never something I will say to them because it can cause so many issues around food. That’s another story so I will stop there.
When it comes to moving my body/fitness/exercise:
- I don’t exercise a certain way if it ain’t bringing me joy. I don’t know how many times over the years I have told people I hate the gym but I know it’s a lot. I think it’s from overdoing it years ago by following a body building plan. I have a love/hate relationship with working out in a gym. A couple of years ago I was all about going to yoga once a week. I love taking spin classes because I feel like a badass when I do them, but they’re pricey as hell so I haven’t purchased any more classes. Right now I am digging quick 25-30 minute workouts that mostly consist of body weight exercises, and a couple dumbells.
- Funny story: I remember when Louie and I would go to the gym together a handful of years ago, I would tag along because I felt I had to, to spend more time with him and because he likes going to the gym I felt I should enjoy it too. Eventually I found out he didn’t like when I came because he hates talking to people at the gym (even his gf at the time ha ha) and he just wants to be alone, and I hated it because I didn’t even want to be at the gym. If you and your partner don’t have a common interest in a particular way to move, find something you enjoy doing, even if it’s alone! We all go through the ebb and flow of what movements brings us joy, and that is totally okay,I just ask that you stop doing stuff you don’t actually like and find something that brings you joy.
- I run because I love to run, and am a better person because of it. As a person with little to no athletic abilities, I didn’t think I would ever be a runner, but I am a runner and I am proud to call myself one! I discovered more about myself through running. Running gave me a better relationship with my body because I came to realize how strong I am mentally and physically. I ran half marathon a few weeks ago and busted my ass training for it. I knew I was passionate about it when I kept going, even after injuring myself, taking the required time off and then doing all the physiotherapy work to make sure I healed properly.
- I don’t guilt myself into working out. I haven’t ran in 3 weeks, since my half and I give no fucks. I know I will start again soon because I am passionate about running and the weather is starting to warm up. I am taking this resting period to enjoy all the free time I now have for myself because committing to 3 training days a week got to be overwhelming at times.
- I try new things. I get bored of routines easily and I have a bunch of classes in mind that I want to try this year. There is an aerial fitness class I have been eyeing, some new spin studios to try out, and I want to try barre. I have learned I like trying different classes, even if they end up not being my thing. I get excited about them, and have a few friends who are always up for trying them out with me which I appreciate.
I am sure my list will evolve as I do, but that is basically how I am living my best life right now in some major areas that previously stressed me out.
I just realized I kinda ditched Gratituesday for a little bit and so I wanted to share one thing I am grateful for today, and that is my animals, Lexi and Sasha. They are so damn cuddly and needy and I love them for it, unless it’s Sasha eating my hair in the early morning because he’s hungry for food. The best thing about Sasha is that he knows when I am feeling down, and he stays extra close to me on those days.
Tell me, what have you discovered about your eating/moving philosophy? Also, any early risers that read my blog? I want to become a better morning person. Working out after work is not my think (I don’t like busy gyms) and would love to start working out before work a couple times a week. Send me your tips, please!